Vague News: Pictorial Parody of The Infinity of Stupidity
Vague News: Pictorial Parody of Images Behind The Cyberculture News
In 'The Spirit' of holiday giving, sometimes the thought of giving is nothing but a smoke screen. Such was the scenario on On Dec. 22, 1864, during the Civil War, Union Gen. William T. Sherman sent a message to President Lincoln from Georgia, saying, "I beg to present you as a Christmas gift the city of Savannah."
The Cyberculture News Psychoanalytic Research Lab is reporting that there are Staffing issues plaguing mental health system. Concerns Behind Analyst’s Cool Demeanor, Deep Anxiety Over American Policy is the fact that Bush Data Threatens to Overload Archives.
In entertainment news, Rockstar Games is proud to announce that the eagerly anticipated first episode of download content, Grand Theft Auto IV: The Lost and Damned...
In response to the announcement, the Pope says he's no rock star.
In NFL fantasy football news, with only a few more dates to play mind games, the Bears have big mental edge over Vikings which just happens to confirm the Study: Teens Who Skip Breakfast Lose Virginity Earlier.
The Portentous Headlines: Pictorial Parody of Glutton Economics and High Tech Fat
No wait... let's call it High Tech Fat: Glutton for fuel.
How about... Big is Valuable and correlating over weight Americans with miles per body fat. Whatever it is called, the fat of the subject is... Fill 'Er Up With Human Fat. Thunder thighs fuel fatmobile. Flab to fuel? Doc says he ran his SUV on fat from his liposuction ...
Vague News: 25 years Later, The News has not Changed that Much
The year is 2008 but yet, the stories and the names of the people in the news really have not changed that much in the past 25 years.
THURSDAY, DECEMBER 22, 1983 - The New York Times: Two bomb blasts in Beirut killed at least 19 people, including a French soldier, and wounded more then 40 people.
Iraq Bomb Kills 48 in Volatile North - December, 2008 - The New York Times: At least 48 people were killed in the bombing, apparently aimed at provoking extremists along widening ethnic fault lines just as American plans to withdraw ...
1983 US Vice President George Bush
2008 'War on terror' a generational conflict, Bush says
On TV in 1983 Knight Rider
Top Songs for 1983 "Beat It" by Michael Jackson.
Hot New Toys in 1983 Nintendo Entertainment System
1983... On the first day of winter 75 cities reported record low temperatures for the date, with twelve of those cities reporting record low temperatures for the month as a whole. (The National Weather Summary)
2008 Winter visits with a vengenace from East to West
Vague News: Fact or Fiction: Fighting a Cyber War Under the Water
Sometimes even the major main stream news outlets fail to investigate and report stories that foretell future events. Whether this is an oversight or part of a conspiratorial cover up by the government in order to maintain a sense of normalcy, the truth still has to be told. The Cyberculture News files this Report: Over 80% Internet services recover in Egypt.
The Egyptian authorities said Internet services have restored more than 80 percent on Sunday, Dec. 21, 2008, two days after several undersea cables in the Mediterranean Sea were cut.According to France Telecom, 3 major underwater cables were cut: “Sea Me We 4”, “Sea Me We3”, and FLAG on Friday Dec. 19th, 2008. The causes of the cut, which is located in the Mediterranean between Sicily and Tunisia, on sections linking Sicily to Egypt, remain unclear.
An appraisal gave an estimate of the following impact on the voice traffic (in percentage of out of service capacity):
- Saudi Arabia: 55% out of serviceSo how does the above stories correlate into foretelling the future of a cyber war and the making of a cover up?
- Djibouti: 71% out of service
- Egypt: 52% out of service
- United Arab Emirates: 68% out of service
- India: 82% out of service
- Lebanon: 16% out of service
- Malaysia: 42% out of service
- Maldives: 100% out of service
- Pakistan: 51% out of service
- Qatar: 73% out of service
- Syria: 36% out of service
- Taiwan: 39% out of service
- Yemen: 38% out of service
- Zambia: 62% out of service
In February of 2008, there was another spate of cable cutting or damage in the Mediterranean and Persian Gulf. Five major underwater cables were cut within a week. Two of the cables, FLAG and SeaMeWe-4 are coincidently two of the same cables cut on Dec. 19, 2008.
Vague News: Gift Ideas for the Person that has Everything
Vague News: Cultural Symbolism in Stoning the Devil
This past Sunday, Dec.14, 2008 while in Baghdad, President Bush had a pair of shoes thrown at him by an Iraqi journalist which symbolically represents the supreme insult in Iraqi culture. Hitting someone with a shoe means that the target is even lower than the shoe, which is always on the ground and dirty.
Iraqi Journalist Hurls Shoes at Bush
After the shoe thrower was escorted away by security forces, President Bush responded to questions from the press jokingly stating... "All I can report is it is a size 10."
It should not be a surprise to anyone that many Muslin's consider the President of the United States symbolic of Satan. What may be a surprise to many is the fact that the actual "stoning of the devil" ritual occurred on Monday, Dec. 8, 2008 by hundreds of thousands of Muslims during their annual pilgrimage to Mecca.
Muslim Pilgrims Symbolically Stone Satan During Annual Hajj Ritual
Symbolically, one might question whether there is an eerie correlation between the shoe throwing incident and the "stoning of the devil" ritual. As that it may be, the shoe throwing journalist is symbolic of the multitude of people that participated in the symbolic stoning of the Devil and subsequently the Shoe-Hurling Iraqi Becomes a Folk Hero
A day after an Iraqi television journalist threw his shoes at President Bush at a news conference in Baghdad on Sunday, his act of defiance toward the American commander-in-chief reverberated throughout ...
BTW, the latest gossip on this story is that someone offered to pay $10 million dollars to purchase those shoes.
Vague News: The Tail of the Paranoid Cat Lover.
The Urban Dictionary defines Biden my time as waiting for further developments, but then... there is no such phrase as biden my time in the insane world of this cat owner. Thus, allow me to introduce you to Paranoia's perspective of What ways do your cats show their creativity and resourcefulness?
First... as I keep my eyes roaming the room, I have to anchor myself against the back wall. It makes me feel much better when I'm in a position to know that my cat is not going to sneak up from behind me.
Hey... don't get me wrong, I really do like my cat. Its just that I'm a bit paranoid and I sometimes think that... my cat is plotting to kill me.
Go ahead and laugh... but the next time your cat starts playing mind games with you, you'll think about whether your cat is really your friend or if it is stalking you. For example, when you are casually laying around and your cat comes and lays on your stomach, he is covertly scouting your defenses. When your cat brushes up against your leg, he is really attempting to trip you so that he can attack you while you are off guard. Plus... how many times has your cat bitten you when you exposed a soft part of your body to him such as the underside of your arm or your inner thigh?
Oh no... my cat just entered the room and is walking this way. Sorry.... but I have to end this report here because my cat senses that I am writing about him.
Nice kitty... sure you are.
Oh... BTW, Vice President-Elect Joe Biden buys a German shepherd puppy from a Pa. kennel instead of a cat. That man is one smart politician.
Vague News: Anatomy of a Rumor and the Potential Consequences
Anatomy of a rumor: Wal-Mart’s $99 iPhone and the potential consequences.
According to an article written by Andy Oram, Editor of O'Reilly Media, the search for self remains a powerful force, driving the flood of social networks, microblogging, and the posting of photos and videos to the Web. Mr. Oram asserts that "it is no longer an option to ignore the Internet. Therefore, we must use the information with discernment. This mandates us to empathize with the reasons people put information online, and then to adapt our ways of viewing it."
Before we attempt to answer that question, one has to be first reminded that the laws which govern our society our based on a Puritanical Code which strictly prohibited any type of sexually suggestive behavior. A recent headline, YouTube Takes Hard Line on Sexually Suggestive Clips, Profanity ... only reaffirms the 500 year old moral values of the Puritans.
The second fact that has to be considered is that Walmart is the largest retailer in the world and that much of it's success is due to discount pricing of the goods that it sells. If, and when Walmart starts to sell the popular and must have iphone at a discount price, common sense tells us that more people will be able to afford a low cost Internet accessible gadget. Thus, it will be no surprise that more teens and young adults will steadily increase the numbers of nude photos online.
Vague News: Gamers Challenged to the Cyberculture News' Mental Mind Games
More than Half of US Adults are Gamers A new study from the Pew Internet and American Life Project finds that more than half of US adults play video games of some kind. A new study published by the ...
Dude! ... There's a thought being coming your way. Yup... he just made you think and he's playing mind games with you. Forget about it if you think you have any chance of winning the mind games because this god-like being already knows what you are thinking.
Let me introduce you to him. His name is Michael. That's right... the name Michael is defined as god-like and a few seconds ago he sent another thought being to you. Go ahead... look it up in your dictionary.
BTW, you are now thinking that if this Michael knows what you are currently thinking, then what are you thinking now? The answer is simple. Who do you think incited you to think that thought? Michael sent a thought being to your brain even before you thought about that question.
Now, now, now... don't get frustrated. Just accept the fact that Michael knows what you are thinking now and even knows your thoughts that you have not even thought about.
And no... you are not special because your thinking that you are one of the select few that had been chosen for Michael to influence your thoughts. Actually you are pretty much the norm in that all things, living or dead are influenced by Michael's thought beings.
Hey... if it makes you feel any better, I am also influenced by those god-like thought beings. The difference between you and me is that I have accepted the fact that I am not a pawn in the game of life and that I have challenged Michael in his mind games.
No... I have not won, but I have enticed Michael to think at a higher level.
Right now you are asking the one word question... How?
Normally in the past I would not disclose a higher consciousness mental state of mind experience to just anyone, but then I discovered that the values of ideas are worthless if you don't share them. So to answer your how question, the game strategy is to somehow get Michael off balance as in asking him questions like:
What came first, the thought or the thought being?
What exactly is a thought being?
The question that really unnerved him was...
Who or what sends the thought beings to Michael?
For a brief nano second, all of the lights on his communications app lite up. And no... you can't have Michael's communications app.
Are you truly a gamer? If so, enter The Cyberculture News' Mental Mind Game Challenge. Just be aware that all of your thoughts are already documented in The Book of Voodoo Communications. For you to have any chance at winning, you must go into the game without any preconceived thoughts and that just by simply challenging your mind... you are a winner.
Are You a Control Freak or are You a Weirdo?
Back on the funny farm, the multiple personalities have volunteered to participate in mental case studies conducted by the Cyberculture News Psychoanalytic Research Lab. Naturally, each and everyone of them has their own personal reasons for participating in these studies. Some of them feel that they can manipulate the case study findings to their benefits and prove once and for all that they are gods and that the universe does revolve around them, while others see it as an opportunity to come out of their closets and express themselves in a controlled social setting and prove to the world that they are not weirdos.
The following are copies of two of the most relevant quasi-psychoanalytic tests that were administered to this pretentious group of control freaks and weirdos.
If you can't read the fine print, get some glasses or magnify the image. Don't ever sign your name onto a document until you read the fine print.
Due to certain patient doctor relationships, which don't exist... we can not release the findings of this study. Hello! It doesn't take a brain scientist to figure out that Grandisimo and Grandiosity are control freaks. The only question that remains is; Are You A Control Freak? Follow the link and take the test.
Ok.... so you think you are not a control freak. Well hoop-dee-do! Are You A Weirdo?
Magnify the image or go to the link to read the fine print.
To answer that question, go to More Personality Quizzes and find out who you really are. Give your brain some mental exercise because the cosmic mind already knows you're not doing any worthwhile physical exercise.
This report was written by an unknown thought being and does not represent the attitude and expressions of the single human brain that publishes The Cyberculture News.
The Book of Voodoo Communications: Correlating Ancient Wisdom with the Present
The Book of Voodoo Communications is a notebook computer with wireless access to the Internet.
Oh really... nothing else? If that is the case, why did you send thought beings out to recruit voodoo dolls to enter the Miss Book of Voodoo Communications' Beauty Pageant?
Aahh... because Aristotle said that personal beauty is a greater recommendation than any letter of reference.
Yes... that is true. But... did he also tell you that rarely do great beauty and great virtue dwell together with voodoo dolls?
Speaking of virtues, the Da Vincci Code is pure compared to "The Genesis of Technopaganism." Warning! Content may be offensive to your religion.
In other news, on this date in numerology. 12 - 04 = 08. Tomorrow's numerology fact is when you ad the first 5 digits they equal the last number 12/05/08.
Moving right along, here is a list of anagram main stream Cyberculture News sources: THE NEW YORK TIMES = KEEN WORTHY ITEMS. WALL ST JOURNAL = WARN US, JOLT ALL.
In business news, The Book of Voodoo Communications digs up answers for today's financial crisis. Dead men tell tales.
The modern day unemployed alchemist collects plastic bottles and metal cans and turns them into gold.
In health news, a multiple personality religious icon has his 2008th birthday coming up in three weeks. Make this your excuse for attending church at least one time before the year's end. In related entertainment news, it has been reported that Pope Leo X was an avid fan of the Myths & Legends series. Indirectly, here's what sources had him saying. "It has served us well, this myth of Christ. "
In political news, here is Today's Philosophy of Politics: "The promise given was a necessity of the past: the word broken is a necessity of the present." ~ Machiavelli
For you puzzle fans, here is a truthful anagram? Rearrange the letters 'President of the United States' equals "Stupidest friend to the Senate."
This 100 year old philosophical quote is relevant to the reality of war in Afghanistan today and these mysterious Correlating Conceptual Concepts in today's Political Change. are scary and eerily familiar.
Now we present to you, a 400 year old painting of Don Quixote that correlates with President-Elect Barrack Obama and Vice President-Elect Joe Biden. The symbolism is going to frighten you. If you are not fascinated by art, take a look at this Political Cartoon in The Book of Voodoo Communications.
Finally, let it be known that on this day "We have it in our power to begin the world over again. Lead, follow, or get out of the way." ~ Thomas Paine
And remember that "Politics have no relation to morals." ~ Machiavelli
Therefore, stay the curse and if you can't... hire a professional cursor. They are the one's yelling the "F" word all the time. You can usually see or hear them through your Windows while hanging out online.
Amazons Selling Picture like Products Online.
The Internet gift catalogs are in! The Internet gift catalogs are in... well sort of. According to an article in gizmodo, Amazon introduced an iphone app today that lets you buy anything you take a picture of. Amazon's Mechanical Turk workers will try to match the photo up with products for sale on Amazon and you'll get results back in 5 minutes to 24 hours.
Sort of like sending thought beings to the Mechanical Turks. Wonder how much they are getting paid? Probably slave labor wages.
This sounds to good to be true so I'll send them this picture.
The all new Miracle Bra push-up
More Colors
$50
Whoa! That was fast. Let's try another pic.
The all new Miracle Bra push-up
More Colors
$55
Ok... Ok. Amazon might have something here, but there is a problem. I don't want to buy the bras. I'm looking for beautiful women to come to my party. Plus... that sexy model is from the Victoria's Secret catalog not from Amazon.
The morale of this story is; don't buy on a whim even if a beautiful sexy women is selling you the product.
