Vague News: The Tail of the Paranoid Cat Lover.
The Urban Dictionary defines Biden my time as waiting for further developments, but then... there is no such phrase as biden my time in the insane world of this cat owner. Thus, allow me to introduce you to Paranoia's perspective of What ways do your cats show their creativity and resourcefulness?
First... as I keep my eyes roaming the room, I have to anchor myself against the back wall. It makes me feel much better when I'm in a position to know that my cat is not going to sneak up from behind me.
Hey... don't get me wrong, I really do like my cat. Its just that I'm a bit paranoid and I sometimes think that... my cat is plotting to kill me.
Go ahead and laugh... but the next time your cat starts playing mind games with you, you'll think about whether your cat is really your friend or if it is stalking you. For example, when you are casually laying around and your cat comes and lays on your stomach, he is covertly scouting your defenses. When your cat brushes up against your leg, he is really attempting to trip you so that he can attack you while you are off guard. Plus... how many times has your cat bitten you when you exposed a soft part of your body to him such as the underside of your arm or your inner thigh?
Oh no... my cat just entered the room and is walking this way. Sorry.... but I have to end this report here because my cat senses that I am writing about him.
Nice kitty... sure you are.
Oh... BTW, Vice President-Elect Joe Biden buys a German shepherd puppy from a Pa. kennel instead of a cat. That man is one smart politician.
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