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In Pictures: A parody of the headlines.


July 10, 2008: The Portentous Headlines: Trading Rock Futures?

The Cyberculture News is proud to provide it's readers, all five of you with the continuing publishing of it's rock breaking Portentous Headlines. That's right, we are going to predict the future with our technopagan rituals and chants.

"Computer, computer on the web show me wisdom of living and dead. May the genius of Janus incarnate through this medium on this date."
Naturally, we expect our competition in the mass media to be cynical about our ability to read the future from some sort of voodoo communications. But then... we are writing
“The Book of Voodoo Communications” and they arn't.

Subsequent to a number of "banking on it" predictions, everybody will be asking how they can get their own personal portentous headlines. Ala, reading one's palm or their horoscope.

Over a period of time, leaders from government, business and all facets of society shall call upon us. What they call us... well, due to certain federal laws prohibiting vulgarity in the media, we can't tell you. The one thing that we can tell you is that The Cyberculture News shall provide our readers with reports foreseeing the future from the past. That is, if we don't predict our own demise first.

The Portentous Headlines : Trading Rock Futures?

July 10, 2008

Coral Reefs Could Die Off Within the Century
Researchers are sounding the alarm about the world’s coral reefs, declaring that one-third of reef-building species are now threatened with extinction.
Video: Survey: Weather Changes Threaten Coral Reefs
Study: Global Coral Crisis Is In Full Bloom NPR
The Associated Press - The Virginian-Pilot - Florida Today - KITV.com
all 429 news articles »

Pre-Earthquake Changes Found In Rocks
Scientists say they have discovered the ability to predict an earthquake hours before it strikes simply by studying changes in rocks.
Discovery may lead to quake early-warning system Reuters
Scientists make advances in the art of earthquake prediction The Tech Herald
BBC News - Discover Magazine - AHN
all 67 news articles »

Fish fossils plug hole in evolutionary theory
CHICAGO (Reuters) - Some odd-looking fish fossils discovered in the bowels of several European museums may help solve a lingering question about evolutionary theory, US researchers said on Wednesday.
University of Chicago doctoral candidate finds evolutionary link ... Chicago Tribune
Freaky fish were lopsided lookers MSNBC
Ars Technica - Science News - ScienceBlogs - Discover Magazine
all 51 news articles »

Water Discovered in Moon Rock Samples
Lunar volcanic glasses, such these gathered by the Apollo 15 mission, were found to contain trace amounts of water. Water has been found conclusively for the first time inside ancient moon samples brought back by Apollo astronauts.
Water found on the moon VNUNet.com
Researchers Find Evidence Of Moon Water eFluxMedia
Reuters - Los Angeles Times - TopNews - Scientific American
all 183 news articles »

Right now you are thinking that I am as dumb as a rock. That may be true, but back in the day... someone sold the "pet rock."



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