Politics: History in the Making
The temperature is in the single digits and snow is laying on the ground in our nation's capital, but the heat of the 2008 Presidential Election is near a boiling point. A dated source of political combustion ignited when campaign managers from the Democratic front running presidential candidate, Hillary Clinton alleged that Republican congressmen were stealing pages from Hillary Clinton's, "It Takes a Village to Educate a Child" book. As of this point in time, the FBI has not opened an investigation because of the recent telephone company's termination of their wire tap phone lines. Local police authorities have not opened an investigation because they never received a 911 call reporting a break-in and it is not in their jurisdiction.
Pro-Democratic political insiders were informed by a smart mob crime stopper organization that they witnessed a Washington beltway bandit flash mob running away from the possible crime scene. They are confident that it was a Republican Party sponsored gathering because many of the participants were dressed in drag. The pseudo-neighborhood police force claimed they collected all of the clues that were left behind by the suspected burglars including five plumber's aprons and several months supply of Mary Kay cosmetics.
Senior advisers from the Republican Party that wish to be unnamed, denied the above allegation. Wanting to set the record straight, they informed the Cyberculture News that it was a group of plumbers that recently worked in the Watergate Building and a former member of the House that absconded off with the "Educate a Child" pages. The party's legal consultant insisted that many differences exist between the definition of a bandit and the definition of a plumber. Moral conservatives also argued that it is less of a crime to be secretive with a page in contrast to publicly denying having any knowledge of an intern.
When asked what the Republican Party hoped to gain by running off with some of the pages, the general consensus was that it was a poor political decision and that all of the pages would go back to their rightful home. Certain House of Representatives were under the impression that Hillary Clinton's secrets for stimulating the economy were to be found within her book. The only thing they discovered is that it takes a village idiot to run off with a page.
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