The Moron's Guide to Investing: Tips and Resources for Investing in an Upside Down Market
In this issue of the The Moron's Guide to Investing, we are not only going to be giving our readers financial investment tips, we are also going to be giving you some timely and relevant state of the art communications resources to help you plan your day trading and better understand the upside down financial markets that you invest in.
Financial tip # 1: Always go with the trend. If the markets are going up, you buy call options that are dated in the near future and are in the money. If the markets are going down, you buy put options that are once again dated in the near future and in the money.
What does all of this mean? It is really very simple. It's just like any other form of gambling. You can bet as little as a couple of dollars or you can bet the farm Sometimes you win and sometimes you lose.
Financial tip # 2: It is imperative that you have an online trading account with an investment firm that gives you real time access to the markets, in contrast to those firms that provide a 15 minute delay. The computer literate savvy investor can actively follow their trades online and be in a position to profit or reduce their losses within a matter of seconds.
Financial tip # 3: There is an old cliche in the law enforcement industry that says: To catch a thief, you have to think like a thief. That same concept also applies when investing in a downward market. To be able to make any money in an upside down market, one has to be able to analyze the financial data from an inverted point of view.
With financial tip # 3 freshly in mind, here are the two state of the art communications resources we touched upon in the first paragraph of this piece.
How to turn your computer screen upside down?
Hold the following three keys down together.
Ctrl
Alt
↓
If you are using a laptop with Windows XP or newer, your computer display should flip upside down.
Wait!... not so fast. To make it easy for you to communicate on your new inverted screen, here is the means for you to type upside down text and letters in HTML.
Grandisimo!
Quickly... send out thought beings to flip all the computer screens in the World and disable that link that types upside down text and letters in HTML.
Sorry Grandiosity, Grandisimo read your thoughts and took off. I'll go and give the order.
You don't have the power to give a command. You're a moron.
Stop!... I didn't insert the code for the upside down text writer....
And you shall not Hostman. We've been hear all the time. Take a look in your writing and you shall see that we wrote this article, not just you and we don't want the World to know about upside down writing.
Ok... Ok. I just wish you all would stop playing mind games with me... Ouch! Stop that!
Feeling a bit of pain in your brain are you? That's just a reminder that I, the great God hears your prayers and laughs at you. Ha! ha! ha!
God knows what you are thinking now and beyond...
Hmm.. a Thoughts Futures Exchange?
I'll have to run that concept by some of the supernatural phenomena venture capitalist investors I know.
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